Lately I have found myself growing frustrated at the hours of time that I spend doing nothing worthwhile. You know: the hours spent avoiding other responsibilities. And since you feel guilty doing something fun when you are supposed to be doing work, you end up idly wasting those hours away. Scrolling through the facebook newsfeed over and over, thinking "oh I will do that reading in five more minutes." Organizing your itunes even though it's been like that for so long that you know where everything is so who cares? What a waste. I am continually thinking about how I wish I had more time to read or bike or talk to friends face to face so why do I do that?
That is my goal this semester and for the rest of my life. I don't want to kill time. What a terrible thing. I want to spend my time engaging with people I love, enjoying the outdoors before it gets too cold, reading good books, and writing for fun. I want to learn more recipes and I want to do my homework on time so I'm not stressed out. I want to do a good job at my internship. I want to leave my phone at home sometimes and I want to turn it off during coffee dates. I want to learn to appreciate silence. I want to be fully present and I want to live my life well.
- ► 2009 (347)