but actually during the storm.

"And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold."

Mumford&Sons, "After the Storm."

as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be

I spent this weekend at St. Gregory's Abbey in Three Rivers, MI. Over the course of three days, I attended eight services with the monks. These services were very quiet and beautiful. Tonight, like every Sunday night at 8, I attended the Gathering at Hope. This service is much louder and much more crowded than the services at the abbey. This made me start thinking about all the different worship experiences I've had. I've attended traditional Protestant services and contemporary Protestant services. I've attended Catholic and Episcopalian mass. I've attended extremely charismatic Pentecostal services. I've kneeled to pray in Notre Dame, Sacre Coeur, St. Patrick's cathedral in Manhattan, St. Thomas's cathedral in Chennai, India, and in the room that houses Mother Teresa's tomb. I have sung praise songs in Portuguese, Spanish, Swahili and Latin.

But you know what's cool? Even with all the theological differences (which, as a student of theology I do find important)...all of those congregations, in their own language, at their own speed, and at their own volume are all praising the same God.

In the beginning

This semester I am in a poetry class. I had been hesitant to post poems before, since they really are still works in progress. But I decided to get over it. So here's one I wrote for the "myth" assignment. Comments welcome since next week we have to revise.



Incest, murder, rape.
Stories not meant for children.
But, for two curious PKs
they were:
before bed, on roadtrips, repeated later
to gawking friends at school.
Stories of ancient ancestors
paralleling the not so ancient ones:

Jacob served seven years to get Rachel
(Keith waited seven years for Denise
to say yes.)
And when the morning came,
there was Leah!
(the que sera, sera
of a career minister.)
So Abram went,
from his people
to the place the Lord showed him.
(So the Krebs went,
from their people
to Iowa, to Michigan, to Arizona.)

And the Spirit of God was
hovering
over the waters
(as the Spirit
hovers still
over your life)
And it was
(is)
very good.

grandma

my mom was recently cleaning out my grandma's house with her sister. when she was done she sent me a box filled with photos and jewelry and silver spoons and a rolling pin but mostly photos. the photos are beautiful and hilarious and fun. my grandma was gorgeous, don't you think? i miss her and i wish i had asked her to show me all these pictures when she was alive.

SENIOR YEAR.

- senioritis has already hit hard. not good news.
- last night, instead of the thousands of things i have to do this week, i wrote my advice list for india (not due until the prep class starts next spring)
- i have listened to the gayatri mantra online so many times yesterday and today.
- i have two internships. nine hours per week each. that is terrifying.
- you know what's boring? briefing supreme court cases. in other words, i think that 1% of me that was still considering law school sometime in the future has been convinced otherwise.
- this morning i went to meijer for: foil, pam, diet coke, school supplies, and eggs. i came home with: foil, pam, diet coke, and two donuts.
- good intentions has been the theme of this year so far. right now i have four word documents open with assignments due today through next monday. i have internet tabs open with schedules for ottawa county courthouse and fred johnson's campaign--for my internships. but i'm doing this blog.

living life well

Lately I have found myself growing frustrated at the hours of time that I spend doing nothing worthwhile. You know: the hours spent avoiding other responsibilities. And since you feel guilty doing something fun when you are supposed to be doing work, you end up idly wasting those hours away. Scrolling through the facebook newsfeed over and over, thinking "oh I will do that reading in five more minutes." Organizing your itunes even though it's been like that for so long that you know where everything is so who cares? What a waste. I am continually thinking about how I wish I had more time to read or bike or talk to friends face to face so why do I do that?

That is my goal this semester and for the rest of my life. I don't want to kill time. What a terrible thing. I want to spend my time engaging with people I love, enjoying the outdoors before it gets too cold, reading good books, and writing for fun. I want to learn more recipes and I want to do my homework on time so I'm not stressed out. I want to do a good job at my internship. I want to leave my phone at home sometimes and I want to turn it off during coffee dates. I want to learn to appreciate silence. I want to be fully present and I want to live my life well.

flying a kite.

"La, da-da, dee, di
Look at my kite fly
Over foggy fields
The pungent pines
The verdant veils
The vapid vines
And the thousand purple cups of wine
The tearing teeth and the four full tines
The crumpling feast and the dawdling dine"

i just love joanna newsom so much.